Coping with the Loss of a Pet: A Guide to Navigating Grief and Honouring Their Memory

“Not the least hard thing to bear when they go from us, these quiet friends, is that they carry away with them so many years of our own lives.” – John Galsworthy

The Unique Journey of Pet Grief

Grieving a pet is deeply personal, often as profound as losing a human loved one. But societal norms sometimes fail to recognise the depth of this loss. People might say, “It’s just a dog” or “You can get another cat,” not understanding that your grief isn’t just about losing an animal; it’s about losing a relationship. Pets are our confidants, our therapists, and often the first to greet us with joy at the door.

For those in rural communities, the pain of losing a working dog carries its own weight. While such losses might be met with stoicism, the sorrow runs deep. Growing up in a farming community, I saw the quiet grief of farmers who buried their faithful sheepdogs. They didn’t speak much of it, but their faces told the story.

Grief isn’t linear. It might ebb and flow or hit you in unexpected waves. You might feel anger, guilt, or even relief, especially if your pet was ill. Each emotion has its place, and all of them are valid.

Creating Space for Grief

Allowing yourself to grieve is not a weakness; it’s a necessary part of healing. For some, it helps to sit with old photos, remembering the times they made you laugh or brought you comfort. Others find solace in talking about their pet, sharing their quirks and stories with someone who understands.

When Balto passed, I kept his collar. For months, it sat by the door where he would wait for me. It was a simple act, but it helped me honour his presence in my life. If you feel the need to cry, do so. If you want to talk to their photo as though they could hear you, that’s okay too. Grief has no rules, only what feels right for you.

Remembering and Honouring Your Pet

Memorialising your pet can be a balm for the soul. Some create keepsakes—a memory box filled with their collar, a favourite toy, or a tuft of fur. Others dedicate a spot in the garden, planting flowers that bloom as a tribute to the life they shared.

I remember a family friend crocheting a draught excluder in the shape of a sausage dog after Balto passed. We added his collar to it and placed it by the door. It was a small gesture but one that brought comfort.

Some might write poetry, create art, or even light a candle each year on the anniversary of their passing. These rituals don’t erase the pain, but they help channel it into something tangible, a way to keep their memory alive.

Supporting Other Pets in the Household

If you have other pets, you may notice their behaviour changing after a loss. They might search for their companion or seem more withdrawn. Animals grieve too, and they rely on us to help them through it.

Maintaining their routines can offer a sense of stability. Giving them extra affection and introducing new activities can also help redirect their focus. They need time, just as we do.

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” – Anatole France

When Grief Feels Overwhelming

Sometimes, the weight of loss can feel like too much to bear. If you find yourself unable to eat, sleep, or engage with the world around you, consider reaching out for professional support. Pet bereavement counsellors and support groups can provide a space to share your grief without judgment.

Grief can isolate, but it can also connect. Many have walked this road and can offer understanding and solidarity when you feel most alone.

Moving Forward Without Forgetting

In time, the raw ache of loss begins to soften, replaced by a gentle nostalgia. You’ll find yourself smiling at the memory of their antics or feeling warmth at the thought of their loyalty. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means carrying their memory in a way that brings comfort rather than pain.

For some, that healing might eventually lead to opening their hearts to a new pet. It’s not about replacing the one you lost but about giving another animal a chance to be loved. Only you will know when the time is right.

“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” – Will Rogers